Paul Daniels’ widow Debbie McGee is determined to keep busy following the death of her husband earlier this year.
The world-famous magician died aged 77 a month after receiving a terminal brain tumour diagnosis, but Debbie has revealed she is learning to cope with her grief.
She explained: "I know if I sit and do nothing and constantly think about him I’ll break down all the time.
"So I choose not to do that, but I have my moments. With grief it takes you unawares. You can think: ‘I’ve turned a corner today. It’s not filling my brain.’ Then, something sets you off that you’re not really expecting. It can be anything. I can be dusting and it’s just a picture or something.
"It’s like someone sticking a knife in your stomach and no matter how brave a face you’re putting on you’ve got that feeling inside you.
"Before I married, I was independent and lived alone. But there is a difference between choosing to be alone and when it’s forced upon you.
"For the first few weeks, when I went out shopping I’d walk around feeling a bit like an orphan. When Paul was here if I went out I’d ring him or he’d ring me and say: ‘While you’re out could you get, whatever?’
"Or if he heard something on the radio, he’d call to say: ‘This is on the radio. Turn it on. You’ll enjoy it.’
"But the phone wasn’t ringing and I just felt completely abandoned."
However, Debbie said the situation is slowly becoming easier to cope with.
She told the Daily Mail newspaper: "I remember one day just feeling so sad I didn’t know what to do. You can’t just cry and scream, so what do you do with it? Now I’ve learnt to block those feelings out and choose when I remember him.
"After all, as a friend said in a text on the day of his funeral: iYou’ll get through today because the worst has already happened."’
Debbie McGee opes up about her grief
