Tori Spelling admits Dean McDermott broke her heart.
The former 'Beverly Hills 90210' star was "absolutely blindsided" when her husband checked into a rehab facility in January, after it emerged he cheated on her with Emily Goodhand, 28, during a trip to Canada in December.
The 40-year-old actress told Us Weekly magazine: "He was my soulmate, but he completely broke my heart."
The blonde beauty - who has four children, Liam, seven, Stella, five, Hattie, two, and 20-month-old Finn, with Dean, is upset for being criticised for not filing for a divorce and her decision to air their troubles on her upcoming reality series, 'True Tori.'
She said: "I feel so judged, but it's not black and white.
"There are children involved. I need to try to figure this out. You don't stop loving someone because they do something really bad to you."
'Chopped Canada' host Dean confessed to having an affair after reports surfaced in the media.
She said: "He didn't want to get graphic. I didn't want him to. We kept it to the facts. It wasn't about feelings. I listened and made sure I didn't show emotion. I didn't cry. He didn't cry. He sounded remorseful. He sounded like a husband who had gotten caught."
The actress still hasn't decided if she and Dean will stay together.
She said: "If I can't ever let my guard down again, then there can't always be a relationship. I always said, 'If he ever cheated on me I would be out of there!' Whether I can ever trust him again. That's the big question.
"But until I figure that out, I don't want the kids to know any different."

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones worked hard to get their marriage back on track.
The couple, who announced they were taking a temporary "break" from their 13-year marriage in August, posed on the red carpet for the first time since they reportedly reunited in November at the opening night of 'The Library' at The Public Theatre in New York City on Tuesday night (15.04.14).
And a long-time friend of the duo - who have son, Dylan, 13, and daughter, Carys, 11 - revealed they never gave up hope and steadily worked on their rebuilding their relationship.
The source told PEOPLE.com: "It is so easy to just give up. But they wanted to put in the work. I'm really happy for them."
The Welsh actress, 44, and the 69-year-old actor looked happy and relaxed as they attended the event together.
Michael's mother, Diana Douglas, first confirmed that he and Catherine were back together last month.
She said: "They are together. I knew they would work it out. They're both gentle people, not hysterical. They're always very affectionate and easy with each other. I figured the more everybody stayed out of it the better."
The couple had a difficult few years during which 'Red 2' star Catherine admitted that she suffers from bipolar disorder - which led to her spending time in rehab for depression - and Michael battled tongue cancer.

Miley Cyrus is "miserable" in hospital.
The 'Adore You' singer was rushed to an emergency room on Tuesday (15.04.14) after suffering a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics prescribed to her for a fever, and was forced to cancel a second concert on Wednesday (16.04.14).
Writing on her Twitter page, the 21-year-old star, who was due to perform at the Scottrade Centre in St. Louis, Missouri, said: "I can't get a hold of my team because it is so early so I want to be the one to tell my fans especially the ones trekking to get there (tbc)
"the hospital is sayin i wont b released today therefore Im not going 2 make it 2 St Louis. Im so sorry but somethings are outta my control (sic)."
The 'Wrecking Ball' hitmaker also lashed back at suggestions she didn't want to perform.
She tweeted: "humans can b so selfish. if any1 thinks id rather b layin n a hospital bed than doing what i love on stage theyre f**kin LAME. im miserable (sic)"
A source told gossip website TMZ.com that Miley was spotted shopping with her mother, Tish Cyrus, not long before her allergic reaction.
The singer was allegedly given antibiotics because she is run down from partying and the recent death of her dog, Floyd, earlier this month.
A source claimed she has been "an emotional mess" since the dog was killed by a coyote on April 1 and was unable to sleep, adding: "She's been off the rails since this happened."
But her father Billy Ray Cyrus said she is doing well, tweeting: "Everyone and everything is o k. Thank you so much for your prayers and love. (sic)"
Miley kicked off her 'Bangerz' world tour in February and is due to wrap it up in Madrid, Spain on June 17, 2014.

Lindsay Lohan was spotted falling over and "reeking" of alcohol following a party to celebrate her new sobriety-focused reality TV show, 'Lindsay'.
The 27-year-old actress - who recently claimed she was "clean and sober" during an appearance on The David Letterman Show - invited pals to New York's Gramercy Park for the screening earlier this month, where she was reportedly seen stumbling around and smelling strongly of alcohol.
A source told Star magazine: "Lindsay was laughing at herself and having drinks. When she stepped inside the elevator, she reeked of booze and could barely stand!"
"She was walking in a zigzag, and everyone in the lobby was staring. She was definitely not sober."
Despite her vow to stay away from alcohol, the troubled star fuelled yet more rumours she was struggling to stay on the wagon when it was reported she had enjoyed an alcoholic drink at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival on Saturday (12.04.14).
Lindsay - who recently completed her sixth stint in rehab - was accused of consuming vodka with a group of friends during Kid Cudi's set.
A witness told InTouchWeekly.com: "She looked completely out of it. She couldn't stand up straight and she was frantically chain-smoking cigarettes. In one of her hands she had a plastic cup with a clear liquid in it. She didn't seem to care who saw and none of the group seemed concerned."

Lea Michele thinks being happy is her "greatest success".
The 27-year-old 'Glee' actress - who tragically lost her co-star boyfriend Cory Monteith to an accidental drug overdose in July last year - admitted she has finally found happiness by allowing herself to feel proud of her work and achievements.
The brunette beauty - who plays Rachel Berry in FOX's musical TV series - told The Huffington Post: "I really think that in this business it's so funny because you achieve different levels of success and you always think, 'Well maybe I just need to get that next award or that next job.'
"You always think that when you get to the next level you'll be the happiest, but for me success is really about being happy and proud of myself and the work that I do. That to me is the greatest success."
Lea - who made the transition from actress to recording artist by releasing her first studio album 'Louder' in March this year - also puts her success in the industry down to her unique personality and refusal to fit into a "mould".
She said: "If I've learned anything over the past five or so years of moving to Los Angeles and getting [cast in "Glee"] is that being yourself is the most important thing.
"I always thought that I needed to fit into a mould and be a certain type of person in order to become successful or to make it in this world, but it was really just being me that introduced me to the people that have opened so many doors for my life and for my career."

Tori Spelling wants to "humiliate" Dean McDermott following cheating rumours.
The pair - who have been married for seven years - will hit the small screen in new series 'True Tori', which will document their relationship and the blonde beauty is said to still be "upset" about the scandal which rocked her marriage.
A source told People magazine: "The decision to do this show is not coming from someone who is in a solid, good place. Tori is very, very upset and angry.
"It's just too raw and personal. There's too much pain and it's too private.
"A part of her wants to completely humiliate him and make him suffer in front of millions of people. She wants to have some sort of justice. She wants him to truly feel the pain of what he did to her."
Tori is believed to be in "crisis mode" while Dean is battling his own problems that saw him recently endure a stint in rehab.
The source added: "[The series] was all Tori's idea.
"She's in a total crisis mode. If she can believe that his addiction has nothing to do with her, then maybe they can move on. But there's no way Dean wants to be humiliated on television for cheating on his wife. His life is basically a nightmare."
Tori and Dean - who have children Liam, eight, Stella, five, Hattie, three, and Finn, 19 months, together - seem to be working through their problems for the sake of their kids, but their relationship is not back on track.
Another source claimed: "They are focused on their kids.
"Tori doesn't consider her and Dean back together."
"Dean will do anything Tori says right now.
"And what better way to ensure that he will never cheat on her after this? I don't think he'd ever want to go through this again."

Charlie Sheen celebrated his engagement with a $100,000 party at the weekend.
The 'Anger Management' star - who proposed to porn star Brett Rossi in February after just three months of dating - spared no expense at the bash, which took place at his Beverly Hills mansion and was mainly attended by his new fiancee's friends and family.
A source told RadarOnline.com: "Brett had been asking Charlie to throw a huge party for them celebrating their engagement and he agreed to last weekend.
"The party was absolutely stunning, and must have cost Charlie at least $100,000.
"The event was catered and a party planner was enlisted to take care of the details so Brett and Charlie could just enjoy the festivities."
The couple are reportedly planning to tie the knot in the next few months and among the guests will be Charlie's third wife Brooke Mueller, who has previously had an acrimonious relationship with following a number of rows over the custody of their sons Bob and Max, five.
The source added: "[Charlie and Brett] both had the idea to invite Brooke to their wedding. They all get along and are one big happy family. It might be unconventional for most people, but not for Charlie's wacky world!
"Having Brooke at the wedding will also show the twins that they all get along."
Charlie - who also has a grown-up daughter Cassandra with ex-girlfriend Paula Profit, and Sam, 10, and Lola, eight, with second with Denise Richards - and Brett are keen for the boys to play a big part in their wedding.
The source added: "The twins are going to be a part of the wedding ceremony. Charlie and Brett are planning on giving them special gifts to make Bob and Max feel a part of their new family."

Brad Pitt is offering 10 lucky fans the chance to spend an evening with him at an intimate charity event.
The 'Moneyball' hunk has partnered with voucher website Groupon to give a select few the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet the actor and watch performances from Kings of Leon and Bruno Mars.
The event on May 17 is in aid of Brad's charity Make It Right, which builds homes and communities for people in need, and the winners will fly to New Orleans and stay for three nights in a suite at the W Hotel.
They will be given VIP guest passes for the night at The Sugar Mill, with only 10 places available across the world, one of which will be from a free prize draw.
Fans can get involved from April 22 by donating £15,000 to Make It Right to secure a place on a first come, first served basis, or enter the free draw, which is being run in the UK, France and Germany, from which one winner will be chosen at random on May 6.
Brad - who raises six children with fiancee Angelina Jolie - formed the Make It Right foundation in 2007 with designer William McDonough to rebuild 150 safe, energy-efficient and affordable homes for families from New Orleans Lower 9th Ward who lost everything after Hurricane Katrina and has almost 100 homes have been completed so far.
Groupon has already donated more than £60,000 to the cause.
Visit www.gr.pn/brad to find out more about how to enter the competition to meet Brad.

Oscar Pistorius buried his head in his hands today (16.04.14) as a forensic expert gave graphic details of the gunshot wounds sustained by Reeva Steenkamp.
The 27-year-old athlete - who is on trial accused of murdering his model girlfriend last February - was visibly uncomfortable as defense witness Roger Dixon, a former police officer, gave his testimony and poured doubt on previous opinions given by a police expert and pathologist.
Mr. Dixon said the first bullet which hit Reeva - who claims to have mistaken her for an intruder and shot her through their bathroom door - in the arm was like "an instant amputation".
Pistorius then bent forward in the dock and put his hands over his ears as the expert described the impact of another bullet wound on the model's skull.
An earlier witness, Police Captain Christiaan Mangena, previously said Reeva was first shot in the hip, with a second shot missing, and the final two hitting her in the arm and the head.
However, the court in Pretoria were told by Mr. Dixon that he believed the first two shots hit her in the hip and arm in quick succession while she was close to the door, which backs the Paralympian's version he shot in quick succession fearing an intruder was coming out of the cubicle to attack him.
While the defense was trying to cast doubt on the prosecution's argument that Reeva had locked herself in the toilet following a row with the sportsman, prosecutor Gerrie Nel then called the integrity of their witness into question with his cross-examination, suggesting he was out of his depth in testifying about the lighting, sound and physical evidence.
The trial has now been adjourned until May 5.
Pistorius, who denies all charges, faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted of murder.

Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg are engaged.
The 41-year-old presenter unveiled her stunning yellow sapphire ring on 'The View' today (16.04.14), and revealed her 11-year-old son Evan - who she has with former spouse John Mallory Asher - helped the New Kids on the Block singer with his proposal last weekend.
After hiding her hand behind the show's desk, Jenny showed off the ring and exclaimed: "I just got engaged!"
She then wept as she recalled the proposal and explained Donnie, 44, had got down on one knee to pop the question.
She said: "This weekend I was sitting with Donnie ... and he went into the other room and Evan out came with a card that said 'Will' and he handed it to me.
"Then Evan ran away and came in with a card that said 'You.' I started crying and then Evan came into the room with the word 'Marry' - but spelled wrong.
"Last Donnie came out with Evan and Donnie's shirt said 'Me' and he got down on his knee ... Of course, I said 'Yes.' In that moment Evan yelled, 'I have another dad!' and it made all of us cry and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and he's so wonderful."
The couple - who started dating last summer - are unsure when they will marry.
Jenny admitted: "We don't know yet."
She said they were considering August, but her co-host Barbara Walters said they could tie the knot in her New York home if they marry in September.
However, she added: "On the wedding night, you cannot stay in my apartment."
Jenny previously admitted Donnie had made her reconsider her views on marrying again.
She has said: "I've said on every interview that I was like, 'Never get married again ever,' and, of course, you never say never. I think he would be an amazing husband, so if he does, I would for sure say yes. I wouldn't be surprised if I was the one proposing."
Donnie has two sons from his nine-year marriage to Kim Fey, which ended in 2008.

Britain's Prince George was presented with a giant wombat toy upon his arrival in Australia.
The nine-month-old tot has been pictured looking rather grumpy during his parents' royal tour Down Under, but finally cracked a smile today (16.04.14) when he was given a huge stuffed animal in the shape of the cuddly mammal, which is native to the Commonwealth county.
The adorable present came courtesy of the family's hosts, Sir Peter Cosgrove and his wife, Lady Cosgrove, at the Admiralty House across from the iconic Sydney Opera House.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had just been reunited with baby George after their first official engagement in Australia, held at the Opera House.
According to People magazine, giving a speech in front of 400 young entrepreneurs, sportspeople, charity workers and society leaders, William said: "The affection that my grandmother, the Queen, has for this nation is infectious ... Her Majesty spoke recently of how, since her first visit here 60 years ago, she has been privileged to witness Australia's growing economy and flowering self-confidence.
"For Catherine, Harry and me, born in the early '80s, we've never known anything else - Australia and Australians have always been for us a beacon of confidence, creativity in the arts and sporting ability."
William and Catherine flew into Sydney earlier today after wrapping up their stay in New Zealand. The duchess was sporting a striking yellow dress, which her husband candidly likened to "a banana".

AC/DC's Brian Johnson has slammed claims the band are set to retire.
The frontman, whose band mate Malcolm Young, one of the founding members of the group, is said to be "seriously ill", has rubbished rumours the Australian rock group will soon split and insists they want to make new music.
He told telegraph.co.uk: "We are definitely getting together in May in Vancouver.
"We're going to pick up some guitars, have a plonk, and see if anybody has got any tunes or ideas. If anything happens, we'll record it."
The singer confirmed that one member of the band - thought to be rhythm guitarist Malcolm, the older brother of lead guitarist Angus Young - has been ill, but said that his condition wouldn't necessarily mean the band would stop touring and recording.
He said: "I wouldn't like to say anything either way about the future. I'm not ruling anything out. One of the boys has a debilitating illness, but I don't want to say too much about it.
"He is very proud and private, a wonderful chap. We've been pals for 35 years and I look up to him very much."
AC/DC, also made up of bassist Cliff Williams and drummer Phil Rudd, are planning a tour to mark their 40th anniversary and Brian previously said he would like the band to play 40 concerts in 40 different venues.
He said: "That would be a wonderful way to say bye bye. We would love to do it," adding," But it's all up in the air at the moment."
Meanwhile, Choirboys frontman Mark Gable, who is close friends with Malcolm, 66, told Australia's ABC radio the musician is too sick to perform live again.
He said: "It's not just that he is unwell, it's that it is quite serious. It will constitute that he definitely won't be able to perform live.
"He will probably not be able to record."