Springwatch’s Chris Packham considered suicide after the death of his pet dogs.
The 54-year-old television presenter has spoken about the tough times he faced when he lost two of his pets, Fish and Tem, and he credits his poodles Itchy and Scratchy for keeping him positive.
He said: "I hadn’t made any mental preparation for losing Fish [his one-year-old dog]. The whole episode was like some ghastly movie. I’d been to the football, the dog was in the car and Charlotte [Corney; his long term partner] said, ‘He loves you so much, he loves you more that I ever could and you love him more than you’ll ever love me.’
"It wasn’t a derogatory remark, she was just recognising the fact that we had this incredibly close bond. She dropped us off and within 10 minutes he’d been run over and he died in my arms. And everything fell apart really, that’s the bottom line. It was horrendous, the whole process of him dying and having to bury him. It was a mirror image of what had happened with the bird …
"Both times it was precipitated by losing my dog … [but my other dogs] loved me so I couldn’t do it. They kept me alive. They did. I owe them my life. I always will."
And Chris – who suffers from Asperger’s syndrome – says he is now getting help for his suicidal feelings.
He told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "The problem was there was all that trauma, nothing was ever done about it. Counselling would have helped but it was the 70s, we just carried on. I never dealt with it. It was never sorted.
"It was very real, there was no doubt I would have done it. If I’d had enough pills I’d have done it and then if the dogs hadn’t been there I’d have done it.
"I had to build a framework so that when it does happen again, something will die, that’s just the way life is, I can deal with it."
Springwatch’s Chris Packham’s suicide struggle
