Perrie Edwards developed a fear of being alone after being stricken by panic attacks.
The Little Mix singer opened up about her battle with anxiety last month and she’s now admitted things got so bad, her mum had to "babysit" her and even now, she still struggles to get on a train to visit her boyfriend Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
She said: "Weirdly when I first started experiencing the panic attacks, I developed a fear of being on my own. It’s a lot better than it was, I kept thinking, ‘if I’m on my own and I have a panic attack, what do I do?’.
"I’ve got nobody to reason with me and I can’t rationalise it in my head or get a sense of it. It got to the point where my mum was coming to the studio with me, she would drive to work with me because I couldn’t get in a car on my own…
"Even now, my boyfriend lives in Manchester because he plays for Liverpool so when he moved, it was c**p and then once this started happening. I still can’t get the train on my own, it freaks me out and makes me feel really claustrophobic. I feel uneasy…
"My mum got to the point where she didn’t know what to do because she can’t babysit me 24/7 even though she did for a long time."
The ‘Black Magic’ hitmaker was convinced she was going to be a "house hermit" forever, but having her best friend move in with her has "massively helped" and she’s not so afraid of being on her own.
Speaking to Glamour UK, she said: "My best friend/cousin Ellie moved in with me and it’s massively helped. Now she can go out with her friends and I’m alright on my own. It sounds ridiculous but it was like I needed to be babysat for a long time…
"When I look back now to this weird wobble I had, I never thought I’d be where I am now because I never thought there was a way out. I thought this is me now, I’m going to be a house hermit, I’m never going to leave the house and I’m going to need someone to hold my hand 24/7 and then I thought you can’t live your life like that. How am I going to have a career? How about I going to get on stage and perform? How am I going to meet our fans? How am I going to do any of the stuff I love doing if I don’t leave the house?"
And the 25-year-old beauty has also found having a dog a huge source of help and comfort for her.
She said: "It’s finding coping mechanisms and looking back then, I never thought I’d be here now. I’m constantly getting better, I’m constantly not letting it defeat me, it’s one step at a time.
"I’m getting there. My coping mechanisms include my dog, Hatchi – he is my son.
"I love him with every bit of my soul. He keeps me calm and I talk to him all day.
"If Ellie goes to the shops, at first, I was pretty on edge but now I have to let her go. I can’t make a deal out of it if she wants to go out with her friends to the cinema because I can’t be that person.
"When everybody is out, if I’ve got Hatchi I’m cool. I’ve got my little mate. He keeps me sane."
Perrie Edwards was afraid to be alone
