Malin Andersson thought it would be "selfish" to take her own life following the deaths of her daughter and mother.
The former ‘Love Island’ star was distraught when baby Consy – who was born with a heart defect – passed away aged just four weeks, and though she’d spent time when the tot was in intensive care collecting sleeping pills, she ultimately couldn’t go through with her overdose plan.
Malin – whose mother died of cancer in November 2017 – said: "After Consy died, I locked myself in my apartment for about three weeks. I hadn’t even grieved properly after my mum’s death and now Consy too.
"I didn’t want to see anyone. I was drinking the whole time – and there were times I would grab my sleeping tablets and think, ‘Do I join Mum and Consy in heaven or do I stay here?’
"One day, I decided I just couldn’t drink anymore. I thought, ‘What a waste of a life, a waste of my mum’s life and of Consy’s life.’ It felt too selfish to take my own."
In March, the 26-year-old star ended her 14-month on/off relationship with Tom Kemp – who she subsequently accused of being abusive and unfaithful, which he denied – and she’s vowed never to go back to their "toxic" romance.
She said: "I’d been suffering in silence with Tom. He was narcissistic and he humiliated and bullied me, but I kept going back for more because I thought I had no one else.
"I used him as a comfort blanket when I was vulnerable – it was toxic and I’ll never go back. I felt I had to speak out to draw a line under it all."
But Malin hasn’t ruled out finding love again in the future.
She said: "I want to find love – but sometimes the more you look for it, the harder it is to find. I’m texting a few guys at the moment, but nothing serious. I’m just focusing on me right now."
And the brunette beauty is hoping to have another chance at parenthood.
She added to Closer magazine: "Even though I had Consy, it doesn’t feel like I had the chance to be a mum, to be honest.
"At the time, it felt like it was so out of my hands … I couldn’t hold her, she was getting treated, washed by other people.
"I would love kids in the future but absolutely not with Tom."
Malin Andersson felt ‘too selfish’ to take own life
