Kelly Rowland suffered a "full on anxiety attack" when she met her biological father for the first time in 30 years.
The former Destiny’s Child star met her dad, Christopher Lovett, in 2018 for the first time in three decades, and has now recalled having a panic attack when they came face to face, as she began to feel "like the abandoned eight year old" she was when he left their family.
Writing on Instagram, Kelly explained: "This was the day I met Christopher Lovett,
My biological father. This was honestly one of the most pivotal moments in my life! After 30years of not seeing him, not speaking to him…what would THAT mean,
for me, my family, my psyche?
"Well, this day in Oct. of 2018, I would find out. I finally found him, set up the meeting, and at this time I was filming "American Soul", when I tell you I was petrified, I was walking to meet him, and my feet suddenly felt like they weighed A TON, needles to say I was overcome with anxiety, and I had a full on anxiety attack, in that moment I felt like the abandoned 8yr old. My team calmed me down. (sic)"
Kelly, 39, says she was preparing questions to ask her father on the way to meet him, but was left frozen when she finally saw him.
She added: "And as I turn the corner, in my head I was cursing this man,
"Why didn’t you come find me?" "Did you love me?" "Am I worthy?" And when I looked at him, and he looked at me, NOTHING CAME TO MY LIPS, not one word. I felt the Holy Spirit say to me,listen.
"I listened to him, I was nervous to trust him, nervous to forgive him,nervous to love him nervous about it all. And the truth is, I already loved him. I spoke to my protective husband and those closest to me and they encourage me to forgive and jump! (sic)"
The ‘Dilemma’ hitmaker – who has five-year-old son Titan with her husband Tim Weatherspoon – has since forgiven her father, and says the pair are now closer than ever before.
She wrote: "And since this time, I have forgiven, and we have spoken everyday since!
"I have come to know SO much about myself, my family history, and even where my love of music & voice have come from! I Love you Daddy, and love being your little girl…even at 39! Lol
"P.S. we are making up for lost time, and when I tell you, him telling me how smart and beautiful I am….will never get old! (sic)"