America Ferrera couldn’t enjoy her history-making Emmy Awards win because she didn’t think she had "earned" it.
The 36-year-old actress became the first Latina to win a Lead Actress prize at the ceremony when she took home the Lead Actress in a Comedy Series statuette for her work on ‘Ugly Betty’ in 2007 but she spent her whole time on stage convinced no one in the room felt she "deserved" the honour.
Speaking on the ‘Armchair Expert’ podcast, she admitted: "When I won the Emmy, I can’t bring myself to watch that because the only thing I remember about being on that stage, accepting that Emmy, was the feeling that no one in the room thought I deserved it. And that’s a shame.
"[I was thinking] ‘She doesn’t really deserve that. What is she really doing in that role? That role is not interesting enough, it’s not dark enough, it’s not edgy enough.’ You know, all of the bullsh**t.
"Which doesn’t enter your mind on its own. There were people in my life perpetuating those narratives and making me feel like I hadn’t earned this moment. "When I look back at that time, my heart aches for that 22-year-old girl, who didn’t get to really enjoy those moments."
Although America loved her time on ‘Ugly Betty’, she admitted that part of her life was very "challenging" personally.
She said: "I loved this character, loved this world… to have a feeling of this character and this story so needed in the culture right now. I just have a gut instinct that’s it’s going to speak so strongly to so many people, myself included, and to see that happen? That’s the best win ever.
"It was maybe the hardest work I’ll ever do in my life but I loved it. The hoopla and the whirlwind that happened around it was challenging and exhausting. My whole life changed… On one hand, it’s what an amazing experience… but there was so much drama and so many challenging things happening in my personal life."
But as she’s got older, the ‘Superstore’ actress – who has son Sebastian, 23 months, and one-week-old Lucia with husband Ryan Piers Williams – doesn’t need to be validated by other people.
She said: "I now know my value, and I know I’m a badass… There will always be more for me, because it’s coming from inside of me. And I’m not looking for other people to validate me."
America Ferrera felt she didn’t ‘deserve’ Emmy Award
