Sunday, May 12, 2024

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The Jump’s battle of the bulge

‘The Jump’s male contestants are planning to stuff socks down their ski suits to give the illusion they have a bigger bulge when the show kicks off this weekend.
Sir Bradley Wiggins, Gareth Thomas, Spencer Matthews, Louis Smith, Robbie Fowler, Mark Dolan and Jason Robinson are concerned they’ll be put up against one another for the size of their manhood when they slip into their latex ensembles this week so have all agreed to enhance their packages by shoving material down their trousers.
Vogue Williams – who is also competing on the winter sports show – told the Daily Star newspaper with a shy giggle: "To be honest, I’m glad I’m not a boy. The boys are going to have to do some stuffing down there to make sure they have the biggest package. I can understand that. If I see a guy in cycling gear or something like that then I can’t help but look down. I feel like such a perv but I can’t help it."
But the competition doesn’t just stop at their private parts as former professional road and track racing cyclist Bradley is determined to do all he can to secure the crown.
He explained: "Once we get up there under the floodlights and racing against someone, you’ve got to start focusing. I think we’re racing each other, aren’t we?"
And one person who is falling behind is comedian Mark as he isn’t used to competing.
He added to the Daily Mirror newspaper: "My only solution, given I’m unqualified to be in a sporting arena, is to try to do everything these competitive people do. So I’m following Bradley’s moves. I get up at the same time as him. I’ve worked out what he has for breakfast. I’m channeling Wiggins."

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