SZA feared that fans would only attend the Grand National Tour to see Kendrick Lamar.
The R+B superstar is sharing top billing with the rapper on their current global jaunt but has explained that she was crippled by anxiety before the performances began.
In conversation with fellow artist Chappell Roan for Interview magazine, SZA said: “Every time I had to go on stage, every time I had to get on a carpet, I’d have full-on panic attacks.
“I used to not show up to something because it was like, ‘I’m never going to win. No one cares that I’m here. Why would I go?'”
The Saturn hitmaker continued: “Same thing with the Kendrick tour. Everybody’s going to see Kendrick. I don’t even know if I have anything to show these people that’s exciting and new.”
However, SZA says she has been able to quash her anxious thoughts by connecting with her spirituality and educating herself on the “laws of magic”.
She said: “Now it’s just like, ‘F*** it. I don’t have anything else to do, and I want to see where this door is going to lead.’ I want to walk through the door. I want to see what happens in the uncertainty.”
SZA was joined on stage by her pal Lizzo at a concert in Inglewood last month and she explained how the pair have been good friends for more than a decade.
The 35-year-old singer recalled: “We’ve been friends since, like, 2013, but it was very organic and very random.
“One day we were on the same tour, and I was like, ‘We’re about to drive out to Lake Michigan, do you want to come?’ And she was like, ‘Yeah, let’s go.’ And then we just got drunk and hung out, and we kept doing that, and then our lives and careers progressed, and we kept talking and hanging out.”
Meanwhile, SZA confessed last year that she was too “scared to go over” and introduce herself to Beyonce at the Grammy Awards.
The Kill Bill singer – who has long been a fan of the music megastar – said: “I can’t speak unless she wants to speak, in my brain, because I don’t want to bother her. She looked so peaceful and beautiful.
“I just admire her. She’s a masterclass on poise, grace, artistry, beauty and kindness.”