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Johnny Depp was a terrible telemarketer.
The 'Transcendence' star tried out a multitude of jobs before finding fame as an actor, but none was less suited to him than selling pens to strangers over the phone because he felt ashamed of forcing people into a "scam".
He recalled: "I marketed pens - on the phone. But the beauty of the gig was that you had to call these strangers and say, 'Hi, how ya doing?' You made up a name, like, 'Hey, it's Edward Quartermaine from California. You're eligible to receive this grand-father clock or a trip to Tahiti.'
"You promise them all these things if they buy a gross of pens. It was just awful. But I actually think that was the first experience I had with acting."
Kind-hearted Johnny felt so morally compromised by his short-lived role that after the only sale he managed to make, he pleaded with the customer to back out.
He said: "I sold one thing, one gross of pens to one guy. And then he was asking me about the trip to Tahiti and I was riddled with guilt, so I told him, 'Hey, man, you don't want these f**king pens. This is a scam. The grandfather clock is made of pressboard. You're not going to Tahiti. I'm sorry.' So I talked him out of it."
And the 50-year-old actor - who has just confirmed his engagement to his 'Rum Diary' co-star Amber Heard - wasn't much good at being a mechanic either.
Johnny recalled to Iggy Pop for Interview magazine: "I was working at a gas station, pumping gas, and they put me in the garage and made me a mechanic. I told the dude, 'Hey, I know very little about this.' And he said, 'Oh, you'll just do what I tell you to do and it will work out fine.' Well, it didn't.
"I changed all the tires on this guy's car, did the alignment, put the f**king wheels back on, pulled it down, guy got in, and his left rear wheel shot off the f**king vehicle. I was asked to leave, needless to say."

Russell Crowe says Tom Fletcher is "very special".
The 'Noah' actor discovered the McFly frontman after seeing his viral videos - including his 'From Bump to Buzz' video chronicling his wife Giovanna's changing body during her pregnancy - and has become a huge fan.
He told Magic FM: "That was very interesting and very well done, and that led me to a video of his wedding speech... in song.
"This is what came into my mind [when watching], 'I've just met one of the richest men in the world'. This man has such a rich internal life.
"It gave me deep pleasure to watch those things... I just think he's incredibly special," he added. "I'll be very interested in whatever else he's going to do."
Tom responded to the kind words, describing the comments as "so awesome" and thanking Russell for the compliments.
He wrote on Twitter: "SO AWESOME! Thanks for saying such nice things @russellcrowe, glad you like my videos."
The singer and his wife welcomed their son into the world last month, and revealed his full name.
He tweeted: "For those asking, our son's name is Buzz Michelangelo Fletcher.
"And he's on his 3rd nappy. Full of poop, that's my boy!"

Ed Sheeran is reportedly "very happy" with his girlfriend.
The 'Lego House' hitmaker is said to be in a blossoming romance with model and singer Athina Andrelos - who he has been seeing for six months - after they met through mutual friends.
Speaking to The Sun newspaper, an insider said: "Things are going very well for Ed and Athina, they are very happy together - she's very cool.
"Life is really good. They're having a great time but aren't living in each others' pockets. It's all very healthy and happy."
Meanwhile, Christina Perri has revealed she and Ed have matching tattoos and may add to their collection.
She told the Daily Star newspaper: "He's one of my great friends. I met him in a bathroom at the BRIT Awards and we've been best buds since ... We hang out all the time and get tattoos together.
"We both got Christmas holly tattoos together. He also has three boxing glove tattoos for when he sold out his Madison square Garden shows which I want too.
"We share the same tattooist and the same producers. It's weird, we're very much like family, with the same circle of friends."

Simon Cowell admitted he will be competitive with his son.
The media mogul - whose girlfriend Lauren Silverman gave birth to baby Eric in February - has claimed being a father won't change his winning mentality, and he joked he'd rather teach his boy to "cheat" rather than let him win.
He told the Daily Mail Weekend magazine: "If we were playing Monopoly and you were winning I'd have to tip to the table up because I'd think, 'What's the point in playing if I'm going to lose?' ... I don't know about [letting Eric win]. I think I'll have to teach him to cheat."
Simon, 54, revealed he will probably be a "total softie" when it comes to his son, leaving his partner to be the strict parent.
He said: "My dad was a total softie with me. my mum was the disciplinarian, so I'll probably be exactly the same.
"I'm looking forward to doing the fun stuff - teaching him to go-kart, watching all the movies I used to watch, the cartoons. I don't think I'll be able to do the telling off."
Meanwhile, it is said Simon's competitive streak shone through during a recent go-karting trip for Syco Records employees after he did all he could to ensure he emerged victorious.
A source told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "It was hilarious seeing how seriously Simon took it ... There was no let up from him during the racing, and he had no qualms about bumping down people he works with - even women - so he could get pole position."

Russell Brand is ready to have children.
The 38-year-old comic is smitten with girlfriend Jemima Khan - who already has sons Sulaiman, 17, and Qasim, 14, from her marriage to former cricketer Imran Khan - and is keen for them to get married and start a family together.
A source said: "Russell has made no secret of wanting children. It's all he talks about. They are also planning to get married. But it seems that starting a family is Russell's priority."
However, Jemima, 40, has not yet committed to his plans.
The source added to Britain's Grazia magazine: "She is totally smitten with Russell but she's still got her head screwed on, so any future decision will not be taken lightly."
The 'Despicable Me 2' star's desire to have kids was one of the reasons his 14-month marriage to Katy Perry broke down in December 2011.
The 29-year-old singer has since revealed: "Russell really wanted me to have children and I knew I wasn't ready.
"I think it was a way of control. I'd have to be home more."

Enrique Iglesias thinks sex is vital to relationships.
The Latino star, who has been in an on/off relationship with tennis player Anna Kournikova since 2001, believes love doesn't work without the physical side of things.
Quizzed which of the two things in his new album's title, 'Sex + Love', he couldn't live without, he pondered: "That's a tough one! Some couples would say that sex isn't important but I tend to disagree with that. Sex is extremely important! Sex keeps you alive... but obviously without love... I think it's a balance of both.
"I think too much sex can probably be bad, but just love by itself can be difficult - if you're in a relationship that can be difficult to survive. I think you need both."
Enrique's music has become more risqué in his last two albums and he insists his X-rated lyrics and sexy videos - his latest one for 'I'm a Freak' sees him caressing a girl's bottom - are simply an honest reflection of reality.
He told Attitude magazine: "If you'd told me 10 years ago that I was going to sing a song called 'Tonight (I'm F**king You)', I would have told you that you were absolutely nuts! But when I sang that song I personally fell in love with it. I thought it was so straightforward, so direct and so real.
"How many of us have thought about saying that to a person but not had the guts to do it! I think there's an honesty to that. That's why I called the album 'Sex + Love', because sex can be fun, it can be raw, but sometimes one thing it's not is honest."
"Some people might say, 'Oh that's so immature that you would say that' or 'Why are there so many naked people at that party going crazy and drinking?' But I'm like, 'Dude, that's just part of reality!' "

Kimberley Walsh is keeping her baby names a secret.
The former Girls Aloud singer and her boyfriend Justin Scott are expecting their first child together, and while she isn't a fan of "out there" monikers, she doesn't want their choices to be criticised.
She said: "Giovanna and Tom Fletcher [McBusted singer] recently named their son Buzz Michaelangelo which is a bit out-there for me, but names are such a personal thing.
"We haven't thought of any names yet, but when we do I won't tell anyone because if people make it obvious they don't like them, it puts you off.
"Once we name our baby, we'll wait to tell people - then they aren't going to be able to say anything. Plus, I don't want anyone to steal my names."
Kimberley recently broke her wrist and is having her loved ones help her out wish everyday tasks.
She wrote in her column for Britain's OK! magazine: "I've enlisted everyone's help since I'm in a cast. Justin's been washing my hair and dressing me, and my sisters Amy and Sally have been popping over to do my make-up.
"Bless them, they're doing a good job so far. But seriously, how much attention does one woman need? Not only pregnant but pregnant with a broken wrist!"

Jennifer Aniston wants to bring 'Friends' to Broadway.
The 45-year-old actress is reportedly in "deep talks" to help turn the sitcom, which ran from 1994 until 2004, into a "billion dollar" musical, starring Lea Michele, and wants her friend Sheryl Crow to oversee the project.
A source told gossip website RadarOnline.com: "Jen has completely fallen in love with the idea of a Broadway-ready 'Friends' musical.
"It's even gotten to the point where she's had some deep talks with her friend Sheryl Crow about creating '90s style music for the project, which of course would feature an entirely new crop of actors playing young versions of the now 40-something 'Friends' stars."
The insider added: "Jen has told friends that 'Glee' singing powerhouse Lea Michele would make the perfect Rachel in this project, and it simply becomes a matter of convincing Jen's good friend, Warner Bros. executive Peter Roth, of the viability of the idea.
"The show's creators can actually be bypassed if Jen can get the studio on-board.
"Jen thinks the whole idea is hilarious and too fun to pass up, and she also jokingly refers to it as her 'billion dollar idea.' "
Jennifer previously poured cold water on rumours she and her former cast mates, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry, were thinking about starring in a 'Friends' film.
She said: "I can't imagine how you would do it. It's not normal. 'Friends' is in your living room; 'Friends' is not in a movie theatre. It doesn't make sense to me. I think it would be going against its authentic self."

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