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Self Esteem reveals how music left her ‘knackered and fed up’

Self Esteem has felt “rock-bottom depressed because of music”.

The 39-year-old singer – whose real name is Rebecca Lucy Taylor – dropped her third studio album A Complicated Woman in 2025, and later performed the record as part of an ambitious stage show on the West End, and the pressure around the release left her feeling “knackered” and “fed up”.

Speaking to The Independent newspaper, she said: “When things went well for me finally, I just got distracted from the actual goal of what music is.”

Through her new theatre role in Teeth ‘n’ Smiles, Rebecca has rediscovered the purpose of music for her.

She added: “I can’t understand being alive. It’s so mental to me. I want to understand it. I want to feel it.”

In her childhood, she once stood on the sofa and imaged “it was like a f****** mountain top”, and she wants “that feeling again”.

She’s penned a new track They’re Just Songs as a way of helping her figure out her emotions.

She laughed: “It’s about going, you know what? Like, it’s ruined my life. Sometimes I’ve been rock-bottom depressed because of music.

“And I’m like, it’s just songs, though? You’ve got a f****** roof over your head.”

Although Rebecca, who didn’t get into drama school, wanted to act before her music career took off, the inspiration behind her taking on the Teeth ‘n’ Smiles role isn’t quite so simple.

She revealed: “I felt a bit, you know, dead, for a while.”

Rebecca would love to do more acting as well as writing a novel, but she doesn’t want to fall into the same traps as she has with music.

She explained: “If this (Teeth ‘n’ Smiles) goes well and people want me to do more things, it’s really important to not get obsessed with the growth of it or the exposure of it.

“I can’t do to this what I’ve done to music.”

Reflecting on her relationship with success and recognition, Rebecca Taylor recently admitted she once tied her value to external validation, such as winning awards.

Speaking candidly on Paloma Faith’s Mad, Sad + Bad podcast, she said: “It’s insane to validate yourself on those things (awards), but the lack of them – I’m like, well, I must be s*** then.”

She explained that her stage name was born from a desire to rebuild her confidence, adding: “I called myself Self Esteem because I didn’t have any, and this has given me it. It’s truly manifesting every day to remind myself to have it.”

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