Melissa Benoist has opened up on her experiences with domestic abuse.
The ‘Supergirl’ actress took to Instagram on Wednesday (27.11.19) to post a video in which she spoke about her experience with abuse, as she alleged that a former partner – whom she did not name – abused her both physically and emotionally for the duration of their relationship.
In the lengthy video – which was posted on Instagram TV – Melissa said: "So I don’t normally do things like this but I’ve written something that I want to share, and I wanted it to stay my words and not have to edit it down for publishing. I’m gonna read it out loud, and I’m quite nervous so bear with me.
"I am a survivor of domestic violence or IPV (intimate partner violence), which is something I never in my life expected I would say, let alone be broadcasting into the ether.
"He was a magnanimous person, who didn’t really give you a choice not to be drawn to him. He could be charming, funny, manipulative, devious. He was younger than me, his maturity obvious. For a period of time, I wasn’t interested. I was newly single, gaining my bearing in a change in my life."
The 31-year-old star – who is now married to Chris Wood – went on to explain that whilst there was no violence early in their relationship, her alleged abuser would emotionally abuse her by "snooping" on her devices and controlling her clothing choices.
She added: "None of that registered as abuse, because I was worried about how he felt at that point, to even comprehend how it even affected me. In retrospect, I see that each red flag followed a very clear path on things becoming violent."
However, as time went by, Melissa claims her former partner did get physically abusive.
She said: "The stark truth is I learned what it felt like to be pinned down and slapped repeatedly, punched so hard the wind was knocked out of me, dragged by my hair across pavement, head butted, pinched until my skin broke, shoved into a wall so hard the drywall broke, choked. I learned to lock myself in rooms but quickly stopped because the door was inevitably broken down. I learned to not value any of my property – replaceable and irreplaceable. I learned not to value myself."
The ‘Glee’ alum says the final straw for her came when her alleged abuser hit her with his phone, and although leaving wasn’t easy, she’s proud of herself for managing to get out of her situation.
She said: "It was a blow to my face with his iPhone. The impact tore my iris, nearly ruptured my eyeball, lacerated my skin and broke my nose. My left I swelled shut. I had a fat lip … Something inside of me broke, this was too far.
"Leaving was not a walk in the park. It is not an event, it’s a process. I felt complicated feelings of guilt for leaving and for hurting someone I had protected for so long, and yes, mournful feeling of leaving something familiar. But luckily, the people I let in, the more I was bolstered, I never lost the sense of clarity that kept telling me, ‘You do not deserve this.’
"Breaking that cycle was the most rewarding, empowering choice I’ve ever made for myself. I feel an enduring strength. I will be healing from this for the rest of my life."
In a follow up Instagram post, Melissa reached out to others who are struggling in abusive relationships, and said she hopes she can "empower" them to seek help.
She wrote: "The long and winding road of healing and reconciliation has brought me to this moment where I feel strong enough to talk about my experience openly, honestly and without shame. By sharing my story, hopefully I can empower others to seek help and extricate themselves from abusive relationships. Everyone deserves to be loved void of violence, fear and physical harm."
Melissa Benoist has suffered domestic abuse
