Melanie C feels her depression was sparked after a row with Victoria Beckham.
The Spice Girls star has had a long battle with eating disorders and depression and believes it all stemmed from the dressing down she got after she rowed with her bandmate at the BRITs in 1996, as she was so "embarrassed" by what happened.
She admitted: "I was so hurt and embarrassed. We’d all had a few bevvies and on the way out there was a little scuffle between myself and Victoria. We can’t say this on air but I asked her to go away. I was told if that behaviour ever happened again, then I would be out. To think I could have messed that up and lost it all … I began to be really, really hard on myself. I think that is where the start of some of my problems came because I had to be very, very strict with myself. I couldn’t allow myself to relax because if I did I might mess it all up."
And the 46-year-old singer and DJ admits her body "took over her mind".
She said: "I think my body actually took over my mind. I went from being anorexic to having a binge eating disorder. That’s when I went to my GP and I was diagnosed with depression. It was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was such a relief because I thought, ‘Oh my God, there’s a name for it and I can be helped.’"
And Melanie – who was known as Sporty Spice whilst in the girl group – admits the public perception of her as the "plain one at the back that doesn’t really do much" really affected her mental health and as a result, she strived to be "perfect".
Speaking to BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs about her time in the band, she added: "I think I was described as the plain one at the back that doesn’t really do much or doesn’t really say much. That is really hurtful when you are a young aspiring pop star. I tried to make myself perfect, whatever I deemed perfect to be."
Melanie C opens about depression
