Lorde says the reaction to ‘Solar Power’ was “really confounding” and “painful”.
The ‘Royals’ singer used to spend gigs days alone binge watching television and take sleeping pills during a rollercoaster year of the “highest of highs” and “lowest of lows”, while she is overjoyed to have turned a corner and now spends her days exploring cities, “walking for miles, eating gelato after dark” and “finding tiny wine bars”.
Opening up to fans in her latest email newsletter, the 25-year-old star said: “I can honestly say [this] has been the year with the highest highs and the lowest lows I think I’ve ever experienced.
“It took people a while to get the album [‘Solar Power’] – I still get emails every day from people who are just coming around to it now! – and that response was really confounding and at times painful to sit with at first.
“I learnt a ton about myself and how I’m perceived by making and releasing this album, and I feel significantly more connected and alive in my art practice and life than pretty much ever before. Sounds dry but true!!!”
Revealing how she has overcome personal issues, she added: “I’ve been able to work through some big personal stuff that was making it pretty difficult for me to do stuff like travel or play shows without getting completely overwhelmed.
“I used to sit alone in my hotel room on show days, binge-watching ‘Bake Off’, Ambien and vitamin D on the bedside, my skin pale, my stomach knotted in fear.
“These days, I’m out the door in every city, walking for miles, eating gelato after dark, finding tiny wine bars, trying on vintage clothes down secret streets, laughing with friends, and playing better and better shows for you as a result. So yeah. Thank you for all of it.”
She also detailed a conversation she recently had with a friend about ‘Solar Power’, and realising it was “made between peaks”.
She continued: “She said it’s clearly one of those works that gets made between peaks, the kind that’s necessary for makers sometimes, no less precious, in fact, there can’t be peaks at all without such works.
“I think this is true of the record. I needed to go low, to roll a neon ball through the tall grass and see what happened.”