Kelly Osbourne has to "fight every day" to stay sober.
The 33-year-old star has spoken openly about her drug and alcohol addictions and though she finds some situations "uncomfortable" now she’s clean, she’d rather face those feelings than relapse and have to admit she’s been using again.
She said: "Relapse is one of the hardest things we face as an open addict who’s gone through the programme and turned their life around.
"Rehab doesn’t fix you, it helps you get back on the right track. You’re never fixed. You spend your whole life doing what you can to never pick up or use again….
"Every day I fight to stay clean, I fight and do whatever I have to do to be a better person because I’m so comfortable being numb, I didn’t take drugs to party.
"I did drugs because I used to hate feeling and used to be incapable, even if it was happy and good things, I didn’t think I deserved it.
"Sitting in a moment and being uncomfortable is really hard for me but that is so much better than what you have to face when you messed up and have to go back and say, ‘I relapsed’ or face your life when its a mess."
The former ‘Fashion Police’ star believes she was born with a predisposition to addiction and regards it as a mental health issue.
Speaking on UK TV show ‘Loose Women’, she said: "I could be addicted to absolutely anything. Biggest was probably drugs and alcohol though.
"I do think, it’s an ism, its an obsessive compulsive disorder, it is mental health, something I believe I was born with.
"I was doing things from such a young age that weren’t normal, like when my mom turned round, swigging on children’s Tylenol because I liked the taste of it, even though I knew it was wrong to take. When I look back, I’d think, ‘That’s not normal’."
Kelly – who is the daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne – decided it was time to get clean when she reached a "spiritual low" and had stopped being a "functioning human being".
She recalled: "I was working and functioning but I reached a spiritual low, I was so unbelievably miserable.
"I didn’t care if I lived or not, who I woke up next to, what happened to me, I didn’t care about anything.
"I was looking out my window, in this apartment building you could see everyone below. I knew what time everyone was coming home and what they did – I was like, ‘What happened to my life that I know all this? I haven’t been to a grocery store in two years, I haven’t done anything, I’m not a functioning human being, I’m chemically dependent to function.’
"I couldn’t live like that anymore. I was going to die or I had to get help."
Following the news Demi Lovato was hospitalised on Tuesday (24.07.18) after an apparent overdose, Kelly called for love and prayers for the ‘Sober’ singer.
She said: "I can’t imagine what Demi must be going through but I know what it’s like to have the world talking about you in your most vulnerable state.
"People need to show love and pray for her."
Kelly Osbourne fights to stay sober
