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Jeremy Clarkson’s penis is ‘too big’ for Porsche

Jeremy Clarkson thinks his penis is "too big" for him to drive a Porsche.
The ‘Grand Tour’ presenter – who hosts the show alongside his close friends James May and Richard Hammond – thinks the flash vehicles are "really nice" but he could never get one because his manhood would get trapped under the low steering column.
Speaking to German press, the 57-year-old petrol head said: "I just do not like Porsche because the other two jerks like Porsche. Every time I sit in a 911 [sports car] I think this a really nice car but my penis is too big for a 911."
Jeremy has just got back behind the wheel after spending the summer months in hospital with pneumonia, which he contracted while holidaying in Majorca, Spain, with his family, and is now shooting the next series of the motoring series with his buddies.
However, although they share a close bond, James has admitted he has "no real desire" to spend any more time with Richard or Jeremy than he has to.
The 54-year-old television presenter said recently: "Outside of work, we don’t meet up. It’s very rare. I’ve spent so much time with them by the time we get to the end of work. I have no real desire spend any more with them! I have other friends and a woman waiting at home who loves me. And that’s preferable!"
But, although they have a laugh and a joke, James was shook up when Richard was involved in a horrific crash earlier this year, which saw the car burst into flames.
James added: "After he had been pulled out of it. It [the car] caught fire. He had the crash after the finish line so nobody was really filming that bit as that’s not normally where anything interesting happens.
"There’s enough to see that it’s alarming. I was the last man standing. He [Richard] couldn’t and Jeremy was lying on a bed somewhere on a ventilator [with pneumonia]."