Friday, July 31, 2026

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Janelle Monae: I have abandonment issues

Janelle Monae has been suffering with "abandonment issues".

The ‘Antebellum’ star says her father was "in and out" of her life when she was growing up which left her feeling as though she wasn’t good enough, and although she’s been battling feelings of abandonment for several years, she has only started to "really deal with it" in the last 12 months.

She said: "I realised that I was dealing with abandonment issues, and just last year, I started to really deal with it. My dad was in and out of my life growing up, and other instances where I felt abandoned were coming up to the surface."

Janelle, 34, says writing down her feelings has helped her come to terms with her emotions, and admits it felt "empowering" to "identify [her] trauma".

She added: "I started to write these things down, and I remember just crying like a baby. I will say that it is so freeing when you can identify your trauma. Knowing why you feel a certain way or why these feelings of being upset or angry or sad – why they’re happening, what the root of it is. It’s just so empowering."

In recent months, the ‘Hidden Figures’ star has been making sure to prioritise "self-care", and says she’s been giving herself time to "let [her] hair down".

When asked by Shape magazine how she recharges, the singer and actress said: "I find James Baldwin books have been super helpful. Reading has been comforting. I’m an introvert. So I have to charge in my room, by myself, most times. And you would think, we already can social distance, so shouldn’t I want to be out? But I actually enjoy the solitude because I’ve been really going nonstop.

"I think self-care is important, and it shifts with your growth. It used to be making sure that I take a vacation because I had been working 11 months out of the year. I needed time to play, to let my hair down, and run around naked. All of that is still important. And if I also want to drink, I’m drinking. You know what I’m saying?"

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Ellie Goulding leans all the way into her romance with Beau Minniear on her new track 4 Seasons, out now.

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