Wednesday, March 18, 2026

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Jack Whitehall at the SSE Arena: I auditioned to be Robert Pattinson’s disabled brother

Jack Whitehall once auditioned to play the part of Robert Pattinson’s disabled brother.
The ‘Fresh Meat’ star and ‘Twilight’ actor were students together at Tower House School in South West London and the comedian joked that their boyhood rivally followed him into adulthood.
Speaking on stage at the SSE Arena in London, during his ‘Jack Whitehall At Large’ tour on Saturday night (11.02.17), he said: "It’s true… I walked into the room in front of this big Hollywood producer and (he stutters) I was nervous and I said, ‘I don’t know what you want me to do, how disabled do you want me to be’ and he said ‘What you’re doing right now is just fine.’
"I didn’t get the part."
Jack added: "The main reason I hate Robert is when I was at school I thought ‘I’m rubbish at sport, I’m rubbish at science, so I’ll do Drama’.
"For every play I auditioned for I learned all of my lines, I gave it my all. And every single play Robert Pattinson got cast in the lead role and I was cast as villager number six."
Elsewhere, the 29-year-old comedian reeled off jokes about being "a fully, paid up member of the posh twat society" who can’t "shop at Waitrose anymore" because he’s an ambassador for Asda, and confessed he "sweats like Donald Trump in a Mosque" when he thinks about getting married and having kids.
Jack opened with a comic video sketch that featured a string of his showbiz associates, including James Corden, David Walliams, Freddie Flintoff and retired athlete and British sporting legend Kriss Akabusi and was supported by his pal and northern comedian Lloyd Griffith, who had the 12,500 strong crowd in the SSE Arena in stitches and surprised the auditorium when he sang like Luciano Pavorotti.
Jack continues his tour at the SSE Arena tonight (12.02.17) and Monday.

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