Billie Eilish has spoken candidly about her struggles with mental health.
The 17-year-old singer revealed that she has suffered from body dysmorphia in the past and her battle with depression started when she was forced to give up dancing due to a hip injury.
She told Rolling Stone magazine: "[At 13] was probably when I was the most insecure. I wasn’t as confident. I couldn’t speak and just be normal. When I think about it or see pictures of me then, I was so not OK with who I was.
"At dance, you wear really tiny clothes. And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.
"Basically, before you’re 16, the cartilage in your hip isn’t firm yet. It’s still growing. I was in a hip-hop class with all the seniors, the most advanced level."
Billie had to quit dance after a devastating injury when she ruptured the growth plate in her hip. She said: "I think that’s when the depression started. It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.
"When anyone else thinks about Billie Eilish at 14, they think of all the good things that happened. But all I can think of is how miserable I was. How completely distraught and confused. 13 to 16 was pretty rough."
Billie’s mental health is in a good place at the moment and she says her depression has been kept at bay recently.
She explained: "I haven’t been depressed in a minute, which is great. 17 has probably been the best year of my life. I’ve liked 17. Sometimes I see girls at my shows with scars on their arms, and it breaks my heart. I don’t have scars anymore because it was so long ago. But I’ve said to a couple of them, ‘Just be nice to yourself.’ Because I know. I was there."
However, Billie still suffers from anxiety attacks brought on by touring.
She said: "I just couldn’t take the fact that I had to leave again. It felt like an endless limbo. Like there was no end in sight. And, I mean, it’s true: There really is no end in sight with touring. Thinking about that literally made me throw up. I’m not a throw-upper but I threw up twice from the anxiety."
Billie Eilish’s mental health struggles
