Janelle Monae has "high anxiety" and "abandonment issues" because of her father.
The 34-year-old singer and actress is close to her dad now, but when she was growing up he battled an addiction to crack cocaine and spent time in prison, and she admitted his difficulties have had a lasting impact on her.
She told Vanity Fair US: "I’m happy that he is recovered, but what that left me with growing up was having abandonment issues, because I just never knew when he would show up. I have high anxiety. I’ve always had it."
The ‘Hidden Figures’ star recalled how she and her friends used to throw parties when they were in eighth grade and charge people $2 admission, but she would spend the hours before they started locked in the bathroom, convinced no one would turn up.
She said: "I was just like, They’re not gonna show up. Nobody’s gonna come."
Janelle – who identifies as pansexual – admitted her insecurity then impacted on her career and made her reluctant to talk about her personal life.
She said: "If I really talked openly and honestly about where I am right now, would I be abandoned? Would my fans abandon me? Would my family abandon me?"
As a result, the ‘Harriet’ actress has been trying to tackle her issues by keeping a journal and writing music which is "centred around what it means to deal with your trauma."
She added: "How does that sound? How does that feel? What are the colours there?"