Jade Thirlwall is "plagued with anxiety through the night".
The Little Mix singer opened up about her experiences in lockdown for a poem, titled ‘Lockdown Word Vomit’, as she revealed she "drank 18 bottles of wine" and takes CBD oil to cope with her anxious and worried feelings.
In her poem, as published on www.theworldfrommywindow.com/, she shared: "I’ve drank 18 bottles of wine. I lay awake overthinking, plagued with anxiety through the night. I read books. Hug crystals. CBD oil and hot baths – and place lavender on every pillow hoping to soothe my frantic mind. Virtual hugs, zoom dates and sex dreams. Feeling guilty for being glad for the change of routine. House parties and quizzes and cooking classes and Skype. I feel so 2020 when I wanna feel more ’99."
And the ‘Black Magic’ singer worries that she isn’t "enough".
She added: "I wish I could do more than use my platform to do right. Does anyone like me for who I am or WHO I am? Am I enough? F**k it. Yeah, I think I am.
"Like everyone I guess I’m just doing the best that I can.Wish my Nanna was around to see how close the family is today. There’s a new found warmth from the phone when I hear the kids say Auntie Jade. But a new-found anxiety praying my Mam will be okay."
Meanwhile, Jade also spoke about her "hope for the next generation" and how the lockdown will positively impact kids.
She shared: "And for every rainbow sign I feel a little hope for the next generation. Here’s hoping kids will learn from this how to be a better future nation. There’s a silent solidarity that we’ll all be on the mend. I’ve learnt I need to be a better friend. Wonder how we’ll cope when this all comes to an end. What will normal life be then? I’m looking forward to being free but still unfree again."