Jonathan Van Ness was "really scared" about the reaction to revealing he is HIV+.
The ‘Queer Eye’ star has been battling the virus – which damages the cells in the immune system and weakens the body’s ability to fight everyday infections and disease – since he was 25, but only went public about his diagnosis in a New York Times interview a few months ago.
Jonathan initially thought the interview would be released at the same time as his memoir, ‘Over The Top’, so was desperate to "protect" himself when he realised that wouldn’t be the case and he had no control over when the news would break.
He said: "In my head, I always thought that article would come out the same day as the book.
"And then I realised a week before that, no, it could come out at any time in a 72-hour period before that.
"It could come out when I was on stage for my tour in Toronto or Vegas.
"I got offered the chance to host a red carpet with E! that, three years ago, I would have jumped at.
"But I said no because in that moment I was really trying to protect myself. I was really scared of the reaction."
The 32-year-old star finds it hard when he doesn’t think he’s presenting his "best self" to people when he’s having a bad day.
He told Britain’s Cosmopolitan magazine: "When I’m having a bad day, everything feels rushed.
"I feel like I’m letting people down, biting off more than I can chew.
"Like today, I was 10 minutes late and I hate that. It makes me feel that I’m not my best self, and as someone who talks a lot about the ways we can be our best selves, that’s hard."
Jonathan Van Ness feared HIV backlash
