Camilla Thurlow considered taking her own life after being "trapped in a negative spiral".
The former ‘Love Island’ star has admitted she wondered what "not being alive" would be like, after battling with anxiety and depression, particularly after hitting a "low point" when she turned 30 recently.
Speaking to the ‘How To Fail’ podcast, she said: "It’s difficult for the people around you of course, if you’re a people pleaser as soon as you start disappointing the people around you because you’re feeling like that then you’re trapped in that, is just a constant negative spiral.
"You start to entertain thoughts about what not being alive would be like, even if it’s just letting that cross your mind or whether it becomes a more serious thought pattern.
"But then there’s just this constant feeling of unease, just in general, and it starts to become unbearable to be inside my own head all the time and I get completely trapped in it, trapped in a really sort of negative spiral.
"It’s hard to talk about this necessarily, it’s not that the other option becomes any less terrifying but when life becomes unbearable like that you do start to think in a different way, it starts to change the way you look at everything."
Camilla – who is set to star in her own show, ‘What Camilla Did Next’, in 2020 – then added that whilst she is good at "helping other people" through emotional rough patches, she isn’t the best at supporting herself.
She explained: "It’s like I can help other people but I can’t help myself.
"To sit with myself and try and support myself when I’m feeling a bad moment I just descend into self-loathing.
"I’d had it before so this year it was a reoccurrence and was managed a lot better.
"But immediately before ‘Love Island’ I was in a very, very difficult phase and I really struggled to see a way out of it.
"It’s when you can’t see a way out, there’s no light because you don’t think that there’s light at the end of the tunnel."
Whilst Camilla says her mental health is in a better place now, her confession comes after the tragic deaths of ‘Love Island’ stars Mike Thalassitis – who was on the same series as Camilla in 2017 – and Sophie Gradon, who both took their own lives.
Camilla Thurlow considered taking her own life
