Jeremy McConnell feels "sick" when he looks back at his past mistakes.
The former ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ star has opened up about his problems with cocaine abuse, describing the Class A drug as "the devil", and admits he is "so ashamed" by some of his previous actions.
He told The Sun Online: "I feel sick when I look back at myself, I’m so ashamed. I was p***ing money up against the wall to get that buzz. I was only focused on was good looking women and drink.
"Then I was offered cocaine when I was 20 at a party and it took over. I remember the feeling it gave me, it was a buzz.
"I didn’t even start drinking until I was 18 as I was so into my football and fitness but cocaine was easy to fall into as it was everywhere – I didn’t have to go to any lengths to get it as it was so cheap and easy to get. I started using it more and more."
Jeremy was jailed for 34 days in Christmas 2017 for breaching a community order.
He was previously given a 20-week prison sentence, suspended for 12 months, after he was found guilty of assaulting then-partner Stephanie Davis.
The 29-year-old model – who has son Caben, two, with his ‘Hollyoaks’ actress ex Stephanie – admitted he was taking cocaine "in excess", and said his issues led to him feeling "depressed and guilty all the time".
He added: "After ‘CBB’ I was doing back to back PAs across the country and to maintain my energy and stay out longer I started to use more coke.
"But that was the start of self-sabotage and self-destruction for me. It could have destroyed my whole life."
Being in prison over Christmas made him realise his plight, and he decided it was time to get his life back on track.
He said: "I was sat there in prison thinking about my [late] mum and dad and what they would be thinking of me.
"I thought about my son Caben, my brother, my friends and family. I just couldn’t bear it. That’s why I sorted myself out."
Jeremy McConnell feels ‘sick’ when he thinks about past actions
