Monday, June 8, 2026

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Christian Bale congratulated by Church of Satan

The Church of Satan have congratulated Christian Bale on his Golden Globe win.
The occult organisation praised the 44-year-old actor for achieving his "highest personal potential" in response to his acceptance speech when he picked up the Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy award on Sunday (06.01.19) and joked Satan had influenced his portrayal of former US Vice President Dick Cheney in ‘Vice’.
The Church tweeted: "To us, Satan is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism, and it serves as an external metaphorical projection of our highest personal potential. As Mr. Bale’s own talent and skill won him the award, this is fitting. Hail Christian! Hail Satan!"
In his speech, Christian thanked his "geezer" director Adam McKay for casting him in the film and said: "[McKay] said, ‘I’ve got to be somebody who can be absolutely charisma-free and reviled by everybody’. So he went, ‘Oh, that’s got to be Bale.
"To the competition, I will be cornering the market on charisma-free assholes. What do you think, Mitch McConnell next? That would be good, wouldn’t it?
"Thank you to Satan for giving me inspiration on how to play this role."
And Christian – who gained 40lbs, shaved his head and bleached his eyebrows for the movie – also paid tribute to his wife Sibi Blazic, and thanked her for her advice when it came to writing his speech.
He said: "Thank you to my beautiful wife, who told me, ‘Less is more.’
"She knows the dumb c**p that can come out of my life sometimes. I can sink and ruin a perfectly good movie and a so-so career in one speech, so thank you for that advice, my love. I wouldn’t be working without her."

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