Charlotte Gainsbourg didn’t know whether she wanted to live after her father died.
The 46-year-old singer and actress was distraught when her famous dad, singer Serge Gainsbourg, passed away after a heart attack in 1991 but her children, 20-year-old Ben, Alice, 15, and six-year-old Jo – who she has with partner Yvan Attal – have subsequently given her a sense of purpose.
She said: "I can’t say I’m happy, no, I have moments.
"Before, there was always a question about being alive or not. Once my father died, I wondered, ‘Do I want to be here or not?’ and I didn’t have an answer.
"Now, I really think I want to be here. And I think that’s enough. My children give me most of that [happiness]. But I don’t want to weigh too much on them."
And the ‘Nymphomaniac’ star – whose mother is actress Jane Berkin – admitted it took until the birth of her first child before she got over Serge’s death.
She told ELLE magazine: "My father, it crushed me. I was not myself for years – until I had a baby and then I was looking towards life a little more. It was painful. I wasn’t someone yet [when it happened], I wasn’t modelled yet, I was 19."
Charlotte’s half-sister, Kate – the daughter of Jane and composer John Barry – died suddenly in 2013 and she still feels "angry" about her passing because they still have no idea what caused her death.
She said: "No one really knows what happened and there are still so many questions.
"The loss was so traumatic. So violent. So unexpected. It’s hard when there are so many questions and you try to put the puzzle together. I still feel angry, I still feel that it’s unfair."
Charlotte Gainsbourg questioned her life after dad’s passing
