Susan Calman tried to commit suicide when she was 16 years old.
The 42-year-old comedienne may have made a career out of making people laugh at her jokes, but she has admitted there was a period in her life when she was younger when she was so plagued with darkness that she cut herself and tried to end her life.
Writing in her autobiography ‘Cheer Up Love’, she said: "I felt alone, isolated, confused about why I couldn’t just make myself happy. I’d started cutting myself.
"I would sit in my room punishing myself, a common thing to do among many depressives, and I still have the scars on my arms from that time.
"I took a load of pills one day because I couldn’t see any way out."
The brunette funny woman was sectioned under the Mental Health Act for her own safety and she has revealed her frightening stay at the psychiatric ward put her off doing anything that would result in her being readmitted.
She explained: "I was terrified.
"No doors on the toilets or showers, being watched 24 hours a day."
Although Susan still suffers with depression, she believes ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ has helped her control her mood as she looks forward to performing every weekend.
She’s quoted by The Sun newspaper as saying: "The joy I am getting from performing on a Saturday night. It is helping my mood and how I feel about things.
"Out of the blue, the Crab climbs up my back, pinches both of my earlobes and whispers gently to me things I don’t want to hear: ‘No one likes you. No one would miss you if you weren’t here. Why do you even bother? Everyone laughs at you when you leave the room. You’re useless. And you smell.’
"I’ve told my wife about him — and it is a him — and all I need to say to her is that the Crab’s about and she knows what I’m going through."
Susan Calman tried to commit suicide at 16
