Alan Carr had a "mini-breakdown" when he turned 40.
The former ‘Chatty Man’ host – who recently got engaged to partner Paul Drayton – celebrated the milestone age in June and initially mourned the passing of his youth, before realising he still has a lot to look forward to.
Asked how he dealt with turning 40, he said: "I had a mini-breakdown.
"I drank half a bottle of gin and then me and the dogs – my red setters Bev and Joyce – just cried, going, ‘I don’t want to die’.
"Something has gone but I don’t know what it is – maybe youth.
"Then I felt stupid for getting all upset because it’s only a number.
"I did new stuff this year, like a tour of Australia and New Zealand, and I’ve got some new shows coming up.
"I’m thinking, ‘Let’s be positive and keep going.’ You’d think I was 80 the way I’m talking!"
Alan also admitted he still feels insecure about his appearance after being bullied when he was younger and even now hates seeing his reflection.
He said: "I’ve never been comfortable with how I look.
"I think if you were bullied, like I was, you are damaged goods.
"You never really leave totally unscathed.
"I hate looking in the mirror and the weird thing with my job is you spend your whole life in front of mirrors in dressing rooms."
Alan regularly receives gifts from Kylie Minogue, even though they’re not particularly close friends, and he has no idea why – though he hopes she doesn’t treat all her pals the same way.
He told Woman magazine: "I don’t know why [she sends gifts] – I don’t get her anything. She’ll send me socks, cushions, a duvet, and she’ll just sign it, ‘Love, Min’.
"She’s not a close friend, she’s just a sweetheart.
"It would break my heart if I thought she was giving presents to every homosexual she came across. I don’t want Kylie to be fickle."
Alan Carr had mini-breakdown when he turned 40
